My first threesome
In a relationship, our author wouldn't want a threesome. Instead, he wants to be the star guest with another couple. Now he's got his first gig.
Matthias* and Jonas* kneel in front of me, one sucks my glans, the other my testicles. It's like in a porn film: two men are in the mood for my cock. While Matthias sucks, his muscles tense up, his cock gets even harder than before, precum drips onto the floor. Jonas closes his eyes, takes my entire scrotum in his mouth and moans as he sucks.
On Grindr, it sometimes only takes ten minutes of searching to have two hours of fun. That's how I got my first threesome. I'm sitting at home late at night, looking at countless headless torsos and then I find him: Matthias. A beefy guy, well groomed, with raspy short hair in platinum blonde in a designer T-shirt. He and his friend are visiting Berlin, he writes, staying in a hotel nearby and looking for a third person. We exchange pictures. A few minutes and a shower later, I'm on my way to my first sex with two men.
I always had very specific ideas about how the situation should be: If I had a threesome, I would have to be the star guest. I never wanted to have a threesome with my partner because I don't want to see him fucking someone else. Instead, I want the focus to be on me, that the two others are comfortable with each other and that I can then leave. I want it to be an experience that I can file away as completed in my sex date drawer that can eventually be repeated. But I don't want to look at my partner and think: How he fucked that guy yesterday...
Acting out sexually after the separation
As I cycle to my first threesome, I've been separated from my ex, who I was with for about two years, for two months. The end of the relationship is an opportunity for me to do what I've wanted to do for a long time - including sexually. I'm probably one of the few people who want to be in a committed relationship and who are quite conservative when it comes to the ideal of a partnership. However, as a newly single person, I'm keen to meet other guys and have new experiences. Hence the threesome.
I cycle just a few minutes from my flat to Matthias and Jonas's hotel. I'm told to wait downstairs until Jonas picks me up. One or two minutes that feel like an eternity. Filled with anticipation, longing and also fear: what if the two of them aren't as horny as in the pictures?
Sex in the hotel
Their hotel room is on the first floor. When I enter the room, I can smell that the two of them have just washed up. The odour fades and the sexual tension rises. We talk briefly at first. About Berlin, about music and I don't know how, but suddenly we're naked. Matthias is beefy, has wide arms and a broad chest. His cock is big and he really gets my hormones going. His three-day beard and reserved but friendly demeanour fit right in with my sexual preferences. Jonas, on the other hand, is soft. There's something maternal about him, in a positive sense. Although he has a few muscles, his skin and body are soft. He cuddles and touches tenderly. I immediately feel at ease with him and want to let myself go. His look says: you're safe here. He talks softly and pleasantly.
While I kiss Jonas, Matthias kneels down and takes my cock in his mouth and sucks it. He moans as he moves back and forth, his eyes closed. We lie down on the bed. I start to suck Matthias off while he and Jonas kiss. His penis is rock hard. I get a little jealous of Jonas, I'd love to have someone like Matthias by my side and I'd like to suck him every day.
Escape is not always bad
We change positions and positions, one blows and jerks off the other. We touch, caress and kiss. "You're sexy," Matthias moans softly in my ear. After the break-up, this is exactly what I need: positive reinforcement and nice moments with men - even if they are a small escape from the actual feelings, the grief over the failure of the relationship and the fear of not finding someone like my ex again. However, escape is not always negative. It can also lead to experiences like having sex with Matthias and Jonas.
"I'd actually like you to fuck me," Jonas says quietly in his soft voice as he jerks off next to me. Matthias and I have both already come, while Matthias has blown me. Jonas doesn't come again that evening, his cock seems to be too sore already. We kiss again, tell each other how great we think the sex and each other are and exchange numbers.
I smile on the way home. There are those sex dates that make me feel bad. That were just a distraction, that were supposed to be quick fun. And then there are the meetings that are intimate and tender, enriching and beautiful. My first threesome was one of these.
*Names changed
