Heterolike me in the arse
Our author is annoyed by misogynistic stereotypes in the gay world. That's why he no longer wants to pretend to be straight so that other gays find him more attractive.
A guy wanted to fuck me the other day. His profile was adorned with keywords such as "Straight Acting" and "Heterolike" and he wrote that boys often told him how good he was in bed. The only thing missing were reviews in a guestbook:
The tail fully meets expectations and was delivered as described. Top product!
Fast and uncomplicated sperm transfer. Gladly again!
The product triggers a gag reflex in me. I would order it again at any time.
My first thought was: great prerequisites. Experience and positive reviews never hurt. He asked me if I had sex more often. I was honest and replied "Yes!" His answer was that he wouldn't meet up with me because he couldn't stand hookers.
A rainbow kick for homophobia
Me, a hooker? Unfortunately, misogynistic stereotypes are often reproduced in the gay world: only those who let themselves be fucked are gay, and those who let themselves be fucked are hookers. We all know that this turns women into sluts and men into heroes. In the gay world, some people probably think similarly.
But the truth is that you're just as gay and it's your insecurity that catches up with you in your search for the straight straw. If someone makes a homophobic attack on me, I'll get a rainbow kick from now on! This also applies to homophobes in your own ranks who think they're better because of a bit of "straight acting" or because they're "heterolike".
But I don't want to behave "straight" at all, because at the latest when I suck a cock or get fucked, it becomes clear what I am: gay. Queer. A man who desires men, but it wouldn't make me any less gay if I were purely active, growled with a deep voice or walked through life with my legs as wide apart as if my balls were bigger than the church bells of Cologne Cathedral.
We don't become gay only when a cock shows us that the prostate can be a pleasure centre or we don't always emphasise our masculinity at all times. Believing that your sexual role, your appearance or your preferences make you more masculine or feminine is just falling for old gender stereotypes.
As a passive part, I've already fucked men without them realising it. If you let yourself go and let passion take over, you fuck the other person. Whether active or passive. I found it even better when both or all those involved were able to get involved at the same time. Then it got so good that I often forgot all the shit that "being different" can bring with it for those moments.
Those who fought for us
I was happy because my sexual orientation and what I live out sexually is different from that of the majority. But I am lucky enough to recognise my needs, to have the courage to live them out, to let myself go and to switch off my head and my thoughts about whether or not it is allowed. It is this mixture of happiness and courage that rarely - and no one is immune to it - leads to me having to devalue others in order to feel better.
Less insecure were those who rehearsed the riot in Christopher Street in front of the Stonewall Inn in 1969. It was mainly queers, drag, trans* people and lesbian women who brought the phrase "Stonewall was a Riot" to life. They lived a queer life, a different life, when it was still associated with raids, prosecution and social ostracism.
It's not about relativising the difficulties faced by queer people today, but it's important not to forget who fought for the laurels we're sitting on, despite all the queer hatred, slut-shaming, bottom-shaming and longing to fit in.
If you don't want to rest on your laurels but want to harvest more, you have to create the future by remembering. This can only be done together and only if we take everyone who makes up our community with us. This also includes not excluding anyone because we ourselves have internalised homophobic mechanisms and attitudes that have been implanted in us by society.
Internalised homophobia
It may come as a surprise, but I was homophobic myself for a long time. I know the background and the desire to be like others. I know what it's like to step on others in order to feel better about yourself and to play a role in order to supposedly belong. The bad thing is: at first it works.
I kicked down until I had no more strength. Because I became dependent on it. I had to keep kicking downwards to be able to bear myself. But happiness waits where we accept the unchangeable. We are not the same. We are still good. You don't have to be the same to be good.
I certainly don't pretend anymore to be accepted for something I'm not. As cock-hungry as I can be sometimes, it wouldn't be very satisfying to put aside my dignity - outside of a constructed role-playing game, which can be quite exciting - just to get one. So if you demand that just so that I "may" fuck you: No thanks. Heterolike me in the arse!
