The thing with monkeypox
At the beginning of July, I contracted monkeypox at the CSD in Cologne. I had two large clusters of smallpox, particularly on my tail, which were fortunately largely painless, but visually quite clearly visible. I took the opportunity to document the entire course of the infection in the form of a diary with pictures and videos.
In this article, I would like to go into a little more detail about the background to the infection, including my thoughts and the reactions of work colleagues and friends. But before we get started, may I briefly introduce myself? My name is Sven, I was born in 1976, live in the Osnabrück area and have been living with my husband André for almost 25 years. In 2017, together with a handful of like-minded people, I launched the homepage PrEP.now with the corresponding Facebook group was launched.
Since then, in addition to HIV-PrEP counselling, I have repeatedly provided information and education about sexually transmitted infections (STIs). When the first reports of monkeypox suddenly appeared in the media in mid-May, I already suspected that the issue of monkeypox would keep us as a group of MSM (men who have sex with men) busy throughout the summer.
We quickly created a monkeypox information page on our PrEP website and also posted the latest developments on the topic in our Facebook group. I juggled the latest infection figures from the RKI and other sources almost daily and it became clear that the number of infections was constantly rising.
It's almost a contradiction in terms that I enjoy going to sex clubs and gay saunas despite this development. In addition to sex with my husband, sex with other men is very important and very important to me; it's more or less essential for my (as they say) "work-life balance".
The Cologne CSD weekend was fast approaching
and despite the somewhat worrying development
I packed up all my fetish things.
The months with the corona lockdown and the associated restrictions, e.g. in gay saunas, were only a few months ago and were quite a mental strain for me at the time. I was all the more looking forward to the upcoming summer with all the possibilities without restrictions.
The Cologne CSD weekend was fast approaching and despite the somewhat worrying development (we had just passed the sound barrier of 1000 monkeypox infections in Germany), I packed up all my fetish things that I would need for all the upcoming parties on this long weekend and set off for Cologne.
In Cologne itself, reality quickly caught up with me. Some of my friends and acquaintances, who I wanted to see again after a long time, had to cancel at short notice due to monkeypox and the resulting mandatory isolation of at least 21 days.
Almost everyone knew other people who had been infected in the 45 days since the outbreak.
Monkeypox was no longer something imported from Gran Canaria, it was already in our midst and the hits were getting menacingly closer. However, cancelling the CSD weekend was never really an issue for me. The CSD parties had been cancelled for two years due to the pandemic, so another year was not really an option.
Nevertheless, at the Xtreme party on Friday evening in the Essigfabrik, I still couldn't quite get into the mood. Viewed "sober in flight", my busy educational work on the subject of monkeypox over the past six weeks took its toll on me, my head couldn't switch off. Sensory overload. Level at the limit.
I didn't have sex with other guys at the Xreme party to the extent that I'm used to. And yet it must have been here that I contracted monkeypox. But with whom, that remains hidden in my foggy memories. I don't really want to find out any more, as it doesn't change anything anyway.
After all, I was able to enjoy the CSD weekend a little on the other days, had a few opportunities to let off steam and made my way back to Osnabrück on Monday afternoon after the pool party in the Babylon Sauna.
I hadn't been home an hour on Monday evening when I suddenly had chills, aching limbs, a cold and general malaise. My first thought was "Great, probably corona", but several quick tests were negative. The next morning I had to go back to work, I still felt a bit out of sorts but somehow I got through the first day at work and was totally exhausted in the evening.
The next few days until Friday were like a rollercoaster. Sometimes I felt good, then a little bad again and just in time for the weekend I had another major attack with a cold and feeling unwell. In the morning, my pyjamas were soaked through with sweat. And I noticed something on my tail for the first time that caught my attention.
It was actually clear what it was about, but inside I was torn.
In two places it looked like an inflamed hair follicle after intimate shaving, a small white spot. This happens to me from time to time but somehow I had an inner premonition and therefore took two photos with my mobile phone.
The weekend was over and work was calling again. At least I was reasonably physically fit again, but the two spots on my tail were still giving me a headache. They had got a bit bigger. It was actually clear what it was, but inside I was torn. I told myself that it might have healed in two or three days - that I could somehow keep it "under the radar".
First and foremost, however, I probably wanted to avoid isolation out of false consideration for my employer and not be a burden to him. I'm sure many people know the feeling of having to call in sick.
In the meantime, my HIV/PrEP outpatient clinic had contacted me and surprisingly offered my husband and me a monkeypox vaccination appointment, which I immediately accepted. I was thrilled! While bureaucratic steps were still negligently delaying the start of the vaccination campaign in Berlin, life in the provinces finally had an advantage... 😉
But the joy was short-lived. In the middle of the week I had to pull the ripcord. In addition to a sudden new bout of malaise and chills, a small white pimple appeared on the palm of my right hand, which was slightly sensitive to pressure when I ran my fingers over it.
I was very worried that more smallpox could form on visible parts of my body, such as my face.
And then I might even be contagious for my colleagues. Or have to make up excuses about what's wrong with me. So late in the evening, I wrote an email to the boss and didn't even dwell on the subject, but laid all my cards on the table and called in sick.
I also informed my work colleagues in our WhatsApp group, ending my message with "And no, it's not a joke!". I could literally feel every colleague start Google again after reading my message to find out more about monkeypox. As a result, they ended up on the RKI website. Presumably they had also read in the FAQs that you can also get infected via "contaminated surfaces". However, I was then able to quickly reassure everyone that there was no danger.
This meant that my colleagues also knew that I had been infected while having sex with other men. But that wasn't really a problem for me. I had always been open with my colleagues about the subject. So it's no secret that my husband and I have an open relationship.
The very next morning, I rang the PrEP outpatient clinic and explained the situation. After some back and forth about an appointment, I was supposed to see the doctor the same afternoon that all the vaccinations against monkeypox were carried out, even though this disrupted the practice schedule a bit. The health authority put pressure on me to get the results of my smear test before the weekend!
When I arrived at the infectious diseases outpatient clinic, there was a lot of hustle and bustle in the waiting area. They were all waiting to get the prick in their upper arm, the first dose of the monkeypox vaccine. I was immediately intercepted by the receptionist and ushered into a small treatment room.
What a bizarre and perhaps absurd situation: I myself, who had been educating people about monkeypox for weeks, was now to be tested for monkeypox, while the other boys and guys were waiting to be vaccinated, perhaps having already informed themselves in advance on my PrEP homepage or in the Facebook group on the subject of monkeypox.
After a short wait, the doctor came into the room in full protective gear. I showed him the abnormalities in the palm of my hand and on my tail. Swabs were taken and the sample was immediately taken to the specialised laboratory by a specially ordered express courier driver so that the results would be available before the weekend.
A huge weight fell off my shoulders when I held the sick note in my hands. All the inner turmoil of the last few days was gone and I could now concentrate fully on myself and my recovery. And that was necessary, because what was to come went far beyond what I had expected.
The very next day, the health authority called in the evening and told me the result: "Positive result"
Anything else would have surprised me. I don't know why, but somehow I had expected someone on the phone who would point out my misbehaviour with Prussian discipline and then order me to be isolated. But the conversation with the employee was extremely friendly and empathetic. She also realised quite quickly that I didn't need any more information about monkeypox.
As my husband showed no symptoms, had been vaccinated in the meantime and we have had separate bedrooms for some time, he didn't have to go into quarantine and was able to carry on with his work.
The fact that my darling had had the vaccination was therefore also an incredible relief for me and for our (partly cautious) life together in the house. Every day our life together became a little more relaxed. We even hugged each other again. But of course we still didn't have sex at first.
When I started the isolation programme, the smallpox really took hold: the palm of my right hand, left ring finger, below the navel and under both feet (1x heel, 1x sole) developed smallpox. At the latest then I would have had problems at work, as shoes exerted unpleasant pressure on the pocks and I would have limped.
But it got really wild on the tail. Two large pox clusters formed, which looked pretty nasty. It still amazes me today that I hardly had any pain, despite the fact that the lymph nodes in my groin area were swollen.
The two large, sometimes slightly bleeding or oozing wounds on the tail looked as if some insect larvae had hatched from underneath the skin. Are you shaken at this point? Then wait until you see the pictures in the diary... *g*
As frightening as it all looked, the nerd in me came through: Everything was thoroughly documented with my smartphone, I made sure that the lighting conditions and lines of sight were consistent between the days and enjoyed the sunny summer weather on the terrace and in the garden. And time and again, I took time to practise self-reflection.
About 18 days had passed since the party weekend in Cologne when I realised that I was out of the woods.
There were no more new pox and the last bout of malaise was almost a week ago. However, it still took quite some time for the scars on the tail to heal as far as possible.
That was my biggest worry the whole time: that there might be permanent scars on my tail. Because of its size (I don't want to go into too much detail here *g*), I like to show off what I've got in my trousers. That's why I had the opportunity to perform on stage in front of an audience together with porn stars at the Hustlaball in Berlin.
I was all the more relieved when it became clear that there would be no permanent scars and that I would just have to be patient with the healing process. My husband and I had sex again for the first time in mid-August. Two months had passed since we last had sex with him. What felt like an eternity. And that was in the middle of summer, when hormones are normally at their peak. And everything worked as it should... 🙂
Now that the days are getting noticeably shorter again and autumn is knocking on the door as I write this text, my thoughts are going back. I would never have dreamed of what happened this summer without warning in the middle of the MSM community and is still happening. That suddenly, as if with the snap of a finger, something had emerged that unsettled many and awakened memories of times that we thought were long behind us... Life never gets boring.
Thank you very much if you have made it this far. I would also like to invite you to take a look at my illustrated monkeypox diary.
Here is the link to the diary: https://prep.jetzt/mpx/tagebuch/
