The IWWIT campaigns have been courageous and bold so far: Controversial topics, polarising theses, role models with strong characters. So now it's "Self-confident! Unique!" The aim is to discuss acceptance within the gay community. And it went off quite a bit on Facebook.
A commentary by Malte Bornhöft (freelance author for Siegessäule and Du&Ich, among others) on the current discussion on the Facebook page of ICH WEISS WAS ICH TU.
Hand on heart: how tolerant are we really?
We see seemingly opposing couples in the adverts and photo motifs: The student meets the leather guy, the drag queen meets the straight guy or the young boy meets the daddy. We do indeed encounter such contrasting couples in the scene - and not so rarely. But do we all always react as you would expect from tolerant, enlightened gays? I say no. There is blasphemy, whispering, rushing and laughing. Hmm...funny actually. Because don't we all belong to a minority that fights for acceptance and respect within society as a whole - for equality between LGBTs and straight people? You would think that there would be a minimum level of tolerance, respect and acceptance within our own ranks. But sometimes there is little sign of this. The discussion on Facebook a few days ago at the start of the IWWIT campaign showed this quite well. Henning writes: "...do I have to be more tolerant as a "gay" person than as a "normal" person? Or simply because it is "politically correct"? Do I therefore have to be more tolerant towards someone just because my counterpart also happens to favour their own gender in their sex life?"
Always being politically correct is annoying
Sure, Of course, constantly being politically correct can also be exhausting. Always being careful not to step on anyone's toes, never being able to say anything without immediately earning applause from one side and boos from the other. In my opinion, the "gendering" and "political correctness" sometimes gets out of hand and inhibits you from moving "freely" within the community. Just because I happen to be gay doesn't mean I have to think everything I encounter in the scene is great. And of course you're allowed to express that. Why not? Who should forbid that? But the crux of the matter is, do I remain respectful of what I like or don't like? And that's where the fun stops for me: When it comes to discrimination against individual groups within the community. For example, the definition of masculinity is a controversial topic among gays.
"Dry faggots with bent arms"
During the discussion on Facebook, my breath caught in my throat a few times. I had to read some derogatory and extremely marginalising comments that showed me that acceptance of different "male images" is virtually non-existent for some of us. Quite shocking, gentlemen. So writes Lars: "I don't think much of those skinny faggots with their bent arms and tops. I'm gay and I like men, not laughingstocks...." This comment puts the icing on the cake. But it reflects the opinion of many in the community. Everyone is allowed to fancy whoever appeals to their preferences - of course. I have mine, you have yours, it's all fine. But we're not getting anywhere like this. Then someone has "broken arms" - so what? The straight-acting muscle guy has to accept that just as much as the ageing bear or the twinky boy.
For me, the definition of masculinity is not just a topic that is discussed in the gay scene. David is right to ask: "Isn't this simply an echo of a development in society as a whole, which in the gay scene has even started in a more delayed form after the fact?"
I would say yes, because the definition of masculinity, together with the current fitness craze, promotes the cult of the body - in society as a whole. According to this, even among gays, a man is only a man if he has muscles and looks masculine and robust. The only question is how strong a man's character is to allow himself to be pushed into the training and youth craze in order to compulsively comply with this dictate. After all, a man can simply say no if a guy doesn't meet his expectations. There's nothing wrong with that. It's all about the tone. And that has become much harsher. Let's all relax a little and give ourselves some space. This will help us focus on the essentials and create a respectful, tolerant and colourful way of working together - and not just in 2013!
