Holger (39) works as a volunteer telephone counsellor at the Cologne AIDS service organisation, where he is also responsible for quality management and the concerns and problems of other volunteers.
What attracted you to go into counselling?
I've always been the listening type - someone who likes to support people. I've also held other voluntary positions before. And four years ago I joined Aidshilfe. It was just the right fit. I'm also positive myself.
What questions do you encounter most often?
It is often less about HIV and risks, even if the callers think it is. For the most part, they have violated their own "morals". Concrete example: Someone actually finds porn cinemas quite disgusting, but then just let himself drift and went in. Now he thinks he has been infected. Simply because he sat in the cinema. And from what he describes, it's clear that there was simply no risk. But he then sees HIV as a potential punishment. According to the motto: This is my just punishment.
Do you have the feeling that people are calmer at the end of the conversation and can sleep better again?
In any case. Most people know how safer sex works anyway - and then you reassure them: you haven't done anything wrong. It's good that you're looking after your health. That's good for people. Many people end up thanking you for getting them out of their panic.
What is important if you want to become a consultant?
Counselling is very time-consuming in advance because you have to complete a whole host of training courses before you can become active: in the fields of medicine and communication. You first need the whole theoretical structure in order to be able to work concretely. That should not be underestimated. The training courses also tend to take place sporadically. I know people who needed two years before they had everything together.
You still have your job - does the voluntary work sometimes get on your nerves?
So for me it's a balance, not stress. But that's exactly the point. There can always be a moment when you can't do any more. Then it's simply serious to say: I'm taking a break now or I have to cut back. There are no first or second class volunteers. That's very important. Nobody points the finger at you and says: Hey, you only do this three times a year. After all, it's free time. And I think that if it's not fun, it's better not to do it.
How has your work enriched you?
You take a lot from volunteering. Friendships have developed. You learn a lot: I can still put all the communication training to good use in my job. And then, of course, the recognition when I take part in the CSD parade, for example, or am out and about for AIDS service organisations: People always come up to you and say: "It's great what you're doing!
