Anyone who is involuntarily outed by colleagues because of their HIV infection must react, but by no means resign. What should I do if my HIV infection is gossiped about at work or I am bullied because of it? Kerstin Mörsch from the DAH contact centre for HIV-related discrimination gives tips.
A colleague makes a nasty remark at my head to make it clear: "I know about you and your infection!" What's the best thing to do in a case like this: ignore it and duck away or protest loudly?
Such a verbal attack comes as a surprise. Only very few people manage to react spontaneously. If you are quick-witted, you may be able to counter with a clear statement. Ducking away is a normal first reaction and understandable from a human point of view, but of course it is not strategically favourable.
So what to do once the initial scare is over?
It is certainly not very wise to assume that word will not get around. It is in the nature of gossip that such news is spread. In the case described, it is quite clear that the colleague is not at all worried about me and is therefore seeking a confidential dialogue, but that he wants to expose me.
How you actually react ultimately has a lot to do with the individual situation, for example how well you know the person in question and how threatened you feel. In any case, it makes sense to come up with your own strategy so that a rumour like this doesn't get out of control and put you on the defensive.
What could this look like in concrete terms?
To prevent the situation from escalating in the first place, it is important not to withdraw, but to get help and go on the offensive at an early stage. After the initial shock, it can be helpful to talk to colleagues you trust or who already know about your HIV infection. You should then involve the employee representatives, i.e. the works council or the representative body for severely disabled employees. They can deal with situations like this. Together with them, you should consider how to proceed and what the goal should be.
Contact with other HIV-positive people can be supportive, e.g. with the HIV in working life interest group, which is particularly concerned with this issue (www.positivarbeiten.de).
As a consequence, however, this means that such an outing becomes a coming out, i.e. I have to stand up for my HIV infection.
Of course, I also have the option of denying everything and calling the rumours a lie. But that's not the best solution. If you have been outed involuntarily, you should take the opportunity to tell your own truth and counter prejudices with factual knowledge. Otherwise, others will tell the truth about you and, in case of doubt, these will be half-truths or lies
Let's assume the worst possible situation: The rumour has done the rounds. Colleagues cut me off and make nasty jokes about me. Isn't everything then lost and my only option is to leave the company?
If it has come to this, everyone has to decide for themselves how big the breach of trust with their colleagues is. Perhaps I feel betrayed even by my closest confidants in the company. In that case, it may be the healthier decision to leave. However, you shouldn't give up too quickly, but consider how you can defend yourself. Counselling centres such as AIDS support services and anti-discrimination agencies can be helpful here.
Can I also threaten bullies with legal consequences?
That is entirely possible. My privacy is protected by the right to informational self-determination. This naturally includes all matters relating to my sex life or my state of health. If nothing else helps, I therefore have the option to sue for an injunction. It is important that people know their rights!
Have you ever had a case like this in your counselling work?
Not yet. However, I have heard a few times that people have been pressurised into coming out to their colleagues. These are HIV-positive people who work in the healthcare sector and whose company doctors put them under pressure to do so. The argument put forward was that it was for their own health and was also a matter of collegiality. Of course, that's complete rubbish. Nobody has to know that I am HIV-positive and nobody can force me to tell others: neither my colleagues nor my employer.
To what extent can I rely on the support of my employer?
Employers generally have a great interest in a good and therefore productive working atmosphere, but certainly not in a destructive gossiping atmosphere in which people are preoccupied with things other than their work.
Isn't it also possible that my boss will side with the colleagues who are bullying me?
I've never heard of anything like it. You have to try to hold the line manager accountable. Many companies, especially the larger ones, now have works agreements that are decidedly against bullying and in favour of diversity. As soon as the word bullying is mentioned, an employer is called upon to intervene. From then on, it is no longer the HIV-positive person who is under observation, but the person who is gossiping.
What consequences can this have for the person concerned?
In any case, bullying can also have consequences under company law, such as a warning letter. Sometimes such clear signals from the employer are also important to show that we take what is written in the company agreement seriously: We are serious about what is written in the company agreement. Bullying is not a trivial offence, and certainly not in connection with HIV.
The questions were asked by Axel Schock
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Contact Kerstin Mörsch from the DAH contact centre for HIV-related discrimination:
gegendiskriminierung@dah.aidshilfe.de
Phone: 030-69 00 87 67
Office hours: Monday, Tuesday and Friday from 10 am to 3 pm
