Alzheimer's doesn't just affect old people. How such a diagnosis changes a gay partnership is described by Yesn Stressenreuter in his novel "House Full of Clouds".
At worst, the first signs point to overwork, can be interpreted as inattention or simply natural signs of ageing, even though Karsten is nowhere near 50. It happens to everyone that some words just won't come to mind.
Very clear signs
When Karsten comes into the office one day still wearing his slippers, this may still serve as a funny anecdote as a single incident. But these failures and lapses become more frequent. Karsten tries to deny, suppress and play them down, but they worry his partner Roman, who is ten years younger and a nurse by profession and therefore particularly sensitised. The signs soon become abundantly clear. Karsten gets lost in his familiar surroundings. He misplaces objects that turn up in the strangest of places: He has moved his wallet to the carrots in the fridge, gloves are packed between the towels in the bathroom. But when the household rubbish ends up in the washing machine and the dirty laundry in the bin instead, Roman's alarm bells start ringing. The medical examinations finally confirm his fears: his husband is suffering from a special form of Alzheimer's disease.
As he did recently in "Wie Jakob die Zeit verlor" about the trauma of long-term positives and the current living environment of HIV-infected people, the Cologne-based author also dares to tackle an aspect of (gay) life that has hardly been dealt with in German-language literature to date: dementia. Illnesses are neither entertaining nor sexy. Who wants to read about it? And how can it be written about?
In Stressenreuter's novel, a party provides the setting for a love and relationship story told in flashbacks. Once again, everyone has gathered together: Friends, neighbours, family members. However, it is not a birthday that is being celebrated in the couple's garden, but Karsten's departure to a nursing home.
Sometimes childlike, sometimes confused
In these few hours, old wounds are scratched once again, relatives reveal the real reasons why they could never really accept this male relationship. Others are hopelessly overwhelmed by the sight of Karsten, who sometimes seems childlike, sometimes confused. And Roman is desperate to defend his husband. "He's still Karsten, he's still the same person," he blurts out. "You can't judge him by what's no longer working in his head."
However, Stressenreuter shares with the reader how difficult it is for Roman himself to deal with the changes in his partner, as well as their first night together and the cinematic confession of love at the beginning of this relationship, which is bourgeois and perfect in the best sense of the word.
As lively as it is drastic
"House Full of Clouds" is a novel about a foretold, unstoppable loss and about a love that reaches its limits. The limits of what a person is able to endure for their love. When Karsten's condition deteriorates to such an extent that his husband has to cut his breakfast bread into bite-sized pieces, this is just "another step on Karsten's path to a land of complete oblivion". Stressenreuter does not ignore the worst failures, such as when Roman finds his husband cocooned in bed, but describes them as vividly as he does drastically. But he does not succumb to the temptation to slip into sheer emotional kitsch.
In his novel, Stressenreuter depicts how much love can be endured, how long a person can expose themselves to excessive demands, in a compassionate and touching way, but sometimes also with gentle humour. Above all, however - in contrast to many a softly-spoken Alzheimer's drama (such as "Honey in a Pot") - he does not leave out negative feelings that are difficult to accept. When Roman senses aggression and even hatred germinating within him due to his excessive demands and also has to apologise and defend himself to outsiders. Also for his decision to stop caring for Karsten himself at home.
Jan Stressenreuter: "House full of clouds". Cross publishing house, 360 pages, 16.90 Euro
