Alexander is drawn to gay leather pubs. The 30-year-old trans* man told us why he feels comfortable there.
I've always been attracted to sportswear and leather in particular. I love the smell of leather and the feel of the material. It fits like a second skin. Leather also makes sexy noises. The creaking of bearded blokes in full gear - awesome!
The first time I went out on the street in fetish clothes when I was maybe 20, it just felt right. I wore carpenter trousers instead of leather to save money. But at least the boots were real and the outfit not only matched, but above all suited me. At the time, I still used a female first name and was addressed as a woman. I didn't come out as a trans* man until I was 25 and the environment was also different to today. I went to straight pubs with a fetish crowd.
That changed when I transitioned. When I go out, it's almost exclusively to gay fetish bars. Other bars where you sit around a table full of cocktails with your clique are not my thing. I also appreciate the cohesion that characterises the fetish scene. This feeling of togetherness is good.
The fetish scene is more open to new ideas
In my experience, the leather scene and the BDSM scene in general bring together people who are open to new things. This is probably because they first have to discover their own preferences. This is only possible if you think about sex and identity and talk about it openly. Let me put it in a nutshell: A straight woman who likes bondage games or a gay man who likes to be fisted in leather jocks tend to be relaxed about coming out as trans*.
That doesn't mean that everything always goes the way I want it to. Of course, sometimes flirtations fail. Sometimes a man I think is hot shows interest at first, but then moves on. This may have something to do with the fact that I'm trans* and that irritates him. But it can also have completely different reasons - just like other people's flirtations. That's why I don't have a problem with it. After all, human relationships are multi-layered.
More about gay trans* men: www.iwwit.de/trans
