"The virus has shaped my biography," says René. The 48-year-old has been living with HIV since 1993 - and has been a pensioner and working odd jobs for almost 18 years. Nevertheless, René looks at younger HIV-positive people without envy. He thinks it's great that they can lead a normal working life thanks to better medication. We have written down what René told us.
When I revealed to my boss that I was positive, he sacked me. I was 25 years old and my previous life literally collapsed. When I lost my job as a salesman, I also lost my flat, as it belonged to the company and was part of my employment contract. Fortunately, AIDS-Hilfe Stuttgart took me into a housing project. Otherwise I would have had to move back to the countryside - to my parents' bedroom.
After five years of work, it was over
I started volunteering for AIDS-Hilfe and got my courage back. After a few months, my colleagues offered me a job. My tasks included organising events for self-help groups and the positive meetings in the region. That went well for five years. Then I developed tangible symptoms of AIDS. I refused treatment: too many people I knew had died miserably from the side effects of the medication at the time. So I had no choice but to have a severe disability of 100 per cent diagnosed. And so I became a pensioner at the age of 30.
Jobs in trendy bars
Right from the start, my pension was only enough for the bare essentials. Without additional jobs, for example, I wouldn't have been able to live in Stuttgart any longer. So I earned some extra money in trendy bars. To be honest, I would have been pretty bored without a job. At times, working all night did exhaust me a lot. But my bosses and colleagues understood that I got sick more often than they did. And when I met my husband, everything got better anyway. I moved to Brandenburg to live with him in 2006 and am amazingly happy in the countryside. Who would have thought it?
HIV yesterday and today
I only started therapy in 2009, almost 20 years after the infection. I know that many people can't understand that. Without the tablets, I would almost certainly be dead. But because of my experiences from the 1990s, I am still critical of the therapy. Medication that you have to take every day inevitably adds up to "poison" at some point. That's my opinion. You don't have to share it.
On the other hand, I can see how carefree younger people take their tablets. For them, it's as much a part of everyday life as brushing their teeth. And that's a good thing! Unlike me and many of my friends, being diagnosed with HIV no longer means that you can no longer work. HIV-positive people go to work as normal, earn pension entitlements and put money aside for their old age. That was and is unthinkable for me.
Successful experience: mini-job as an evening waiter
After moving to the Brandenburg province, I travelled to Berlin to work, most recently for five years in a gay sauna. I could always treat myself to something from the tips. I really like city trips, for example. Six months ago, I got my first job subject to social security contributions since I was made redundant as a sales assistant. I work 40 hours a month as an evening waiter on a 450-euro basis. After more than 100 applications and only two interviews, the hotel's acceptance was a real sense of achievement for me. My employer knows that I'm positive. There's hardly any other way to interpret my strange CV: Employment at AIDS-Hilfe and then a pensioner from the age of 30? Nightingale, I hear you singing.
Concern and confidence
The virus has ruled my life, but it hasn't ruined it. Of course I lack money and nice things. But I'm not letting it get me down and I'm not constantly thinking about what I could have become. The only thing that scares me is the possibility of losing my pension. As a severely disabled person, I have to have my claims reviewed every two or three years. If they come to the conclusion that I'm healthy enough to work, it will be difficult. Finding a real job, even if it's only part-time, would be hopeless. My only option would be Hartz IV.
Many of my long-term positive friends feel the same way. We are torn between worry and confidence. But when we meet each other at positive meetings, the joy prevails. Our solidarity community of the terminally ill has become a kind of holiday club.
More about living with HIV today at https://www.iwwit.de/hiv-positiv
