The whole drama surrounding safer sex is reflected in the "pre-ejaculate"; for AIDS counsellors, the constant drop of lust is the supreme discipline. After all, who believes what they know? A commentary by Holger Wicht
Nobody has probably noticed it yet, but the male member is somewhat reminiscent of Gremlins: when it gets wet, it gets serious.
Perhaps that needs explaining: The 1984 film "Gremlins - Little Monsters" was about adorable cuddly toys that could quickly turn into biting beasts. If they came into contact with liquid, disaster took its course.
Now, as we all know, a penis doesn't bite if it is covered with ... let's say ... Saliva comes into contact with the penis. However, as soon as fluid comes out of the penis during oral sex, it is not uncommon for the wind player to withdraw in horror, as the drop promises disaster. This is due to 30 years of HIV prevention: "Get out before it comes!" - most people have deeply internalised this message. We have learnt that anyone who puts semen in their mouth is at risk of HIV infection.
Now, according to Dr Sommer, the pleasure drop can occasionally make you pregnant, but it is not sperm. Science and prevention have found a solution for the - as the saying goes Pre-liquid was issued with a clear special licence from the outset: The virus concentration in it was not sufficient for HIV transmission during oral sex. To put it more lyrically: You don't get sunburn from the first heralds of spring.
Sperm no, pleasure drops okay? Who has ever swallowed this message so easily?
So it could be as simple as that: sperm no, pleasure drops okay. But let's be honest, most of us have never swallowed this message, or the noble drop itself, without a second thought. For many people, the lust drop is a love killer. And from the beginning until today, it has been the supreme discipline of counselling. Because this droplet of bodily fluid reflects the entire universe of safer sex, all the knowledge of transmission probabilities and all the fears and eventualities that leave people with no peace of mind.
In other words: We know that nothing can happen - but does that give us peace of mind?
In reality, it looks like this: As long as we can't see or taste anything, everything is okay and the little bit of liquid won't kill us. However, as soon as the drop of pleasure enters our perception, however small it is, it can wash out landslide-like worries.
It starts with the fact that it's not always just one drop; you are confronted with very different quantities. And if it's not just a drop of pleasure, but a drop of lust or even a stream of pleasure - isn't that perhaps the exception to the safer sex rule? Don't the extremely few viruses per microlitre then add up and exceed the dangerous limit?
Is that still pre-liquid at all? Or is it perhaps already sperm? There are men with a lot of pre-cum and men with sparse semen. Consistencies vary. Both fluids come out of the same orifice in quick succession. Pleasure drops and ejaculate - for the practitioner, these are terms with little discriminatory power!
And let's be honest: the fact that a "low virus concentration" is not sufficient for an infection is a very shaky construct anyway. Now we're also hearing that a drop of lust in the rectum is very dangerous. The feeling of safety is definitely fucked!
And anyway: I bit my tongue last night, sabred my gums with dental floss after dinner and mucous membranes are not to be trusted anyway. In this specific case, isn't the door now open to the virus?
Make friends with the pleasure drop?
It is a series of irrational fears that are fuelled by the drop of lust, and they are all the more difficult to deal with because they are accompanied by a few justified doubts. That's how it is with safer sex: while we strive for full devotion, we secretly calculate in probabilities - and always with the worst in mind. Residual risks have to be accepted - but they are inflated to the fore because fear is one of the most skilful illusionists under the sun.
You can't always beat fear out of the field with information, but at least you can limit it. Fortunately, we now know that even a full load of semen in the mouth is only a small risk compared to unprotected anal intercourse. Perhaps this will help us to make friends with the drop of lust?
If not, I recommend the counselling services of Deutsche AIDS-Hilfe. They are already familiar with the topic.
