In his early 20s, Florian contracted HIV from his partner. His circle of friends knew about it from the start. His family, however, knew nothing about the now 26-year-old's infection. Part 3 of our series on HIV coming out.
The first person to find out about my infection was my flatmate. I had told him that I was planning an HIV test, so he immediately grilled me when I came back from the appointment. I had already suspected that the test might turn out positive. My flatmate, on the other hand, was surprised by the test result. "Are you joking?" he asked me. I replied that I certainly wasn't joking about HIV. He reacted very sensitively and our good relationship hasn't changed since then.
That same day, I called my best friends. I needed them now more than ever and the conversations helped me. I also contacted the last two men I had had sex with. We had used condoms, but it was still important to me to send them for a test.
In the first few months after my diagnosis, I discussed my infection before having sex. The vast majority of men had no problem with this. But none of them ever admitted to being positive themselves, although there were certainly one or two. Only very few guys said after my HIV outing that in that case they would rather not have sex with me. One of them almost started crying. We had met in a club, had a great chat and wanted to go back to my place. The situation was a bit strange because I had to comfort him because of my own infection.
No one has ever insulted me. Nevertheless, I now refrain from talking about HIV on sex dates. I've been below the detection limit for years and can't infect anyone. I haven't told my parents either. I'm in therapy and I'm doing well. I would only burden my family unnecessarily with the news.
Click here to go to Part I and Part II of our mini-series.
