Max is 21 years old, studies in Jena and came out as HIV-positive more than a year ago. He is happy about this decision and would like more positive guys to say that they have HIV. A conversation about unfounded worries, the point at which internet dating becomes unsexy and what a report about the "Test heroes" campaign of ICH WEISS WAS ICH TU triggered in him

How openly do you live with HIV in the gay scene?
Quite openly. This isn't the first interview I've given about it and the vast majority of people in my immediate environment know about it. If dating portals offer the option of declaring your HIV status, then I do that too. Or I bring it up when it becomes necessary. But it's also not the first thing I tell people about myself. Although it's strange now when people don't know.

What do you mean by that?
Being open about the fact that I am positive simply makes things, conversations and general dealings with others less complicated. The hurdle is removed, everyone knows and that's good. If someone comes along who doesn't know, there is often a need for explanation. This complicates the situation again and the issue comes to the fore. And that triggers unease, which is not really necessary.

"If I can help others to protect themselves, that's great."

Was it easy for you to come out publicly?
My public outing came about like this: I read a report on a website about this "Testhelden" campaign that impressed me. I then contacted the author to tell him about it. He then said: "Could you imagine talking publicly about your infection yourself?" And I could. I wasn't that scared of it. There are far too few people who do that. And that's why many other people don't realise that the lives of most positive people are not much different from those of negative people. And I'm still glad I did it. If I can help others to protect themselves, that's great.

"I then have to explain that protection through therapy works and that I am not infectious."

How do other people react when you tell them that you are positive?
Especially today, when my HIV status has become quite normal for me, I am always surprised by how much some people worry. Not about getting infected from me. Most people are well aware of that. But many people still think that I'll get ill at some point and then die far too early or something. And it's not always easy to make them realise that I'm doing really well and that I'm not actually affected by HIV at all. It's annoying from time to time. When dating on the internet, the matter also comes up at some point and many people react as a matter of course. But some don't either. I then have to explain that protection through therapy works and that I'm not infectious. Unfortunately, that quickly makes things unsexy.

Fear of stigmatisation among young positives
 

Do you know other young positives? How do they deal with their infection?
I study in a smaller town, the scene here isn't huge. After I came out publicly, some of my friends came out to me. And what I generally notice is that there are now some young positives who are very open. But many others don't want it to be publicised and only talk about it with a few other people.

"After coming out, you definitely become a topic of conversation."

Why do you think that is?
Well, they're afraid of being stigmatised. And that's not entirely unjustified. After coming out, you definitely become a topic of conversation. The general level of information about the lives of HIV-positive people is not great and prejudices and rumours can easily arise that make life more difficult. Many people are also afraid of jeopardising their professional future if it becomes known that they are positive. 

"And some negative people could relax when dealing with positive people."

And what can we all do about it together?
Good question. If positives are open about their infection, negatives have a chance to learn first-hand that living with HIV in 2017 no longer means being ill. We live completely normal lives and there are no longer any visible differences between positives and negatives. And some negatives could relax when dealing with positives. (laughs) And inform themselves better so that stigma is prevented before it happens. 

How does HIV affect your life today?
I take two tablets every day, that's it. But that's now also automated, like brushing my teeth, and nothing I think about anymore. Apart from that, I'm probably no different to many 21-year-old gay boys all over the world.

You can find out more about living with HIV at iwwit.de!

The Test heroes campaign can be found here!