10 September is World Suicide Prevention Day. In Germany alone, around 10,000 people take their own lives every year. Gays are particularly at risk. Kriss Rudolph spoke to Ulrich Biechele, a member of the board of the Association of Lesbian and Gay Psychologists (VLSP) and Managing Director of the Psychological Lesbian and Gay Counselling Centre Rhine-Neckar (plus-mannheim.de):
Mr Biechele, in 2000, a Berlin study among gay teenagers caused a stir: 18 % had made at least one suicide attempt, and over half had already thought about suicide. Has anything improved since then?
Unfortunately not. According to a 2009 study by Austrian psychologist Martin Plöderl, suicidal tendencies and depression are 1.9 to 8.2 times more common in gay and bisexual men than in heterosexual men, and young gay men are still more at risk than heterosexual men of the same age.
What are the concerns of young gay men dealing with suicidal thoughts?
The thought often prevails: I'm useless and a burden to others. I'm only a worry to my family and friends. Of course, violence and marginalisation also play a role. People are often rough with each other at school, which causes serious injuries. "Gay" is still the most popular swear word - everything that is bad is "gay". Homosexuals are taught that they have a "second-class" sexual identity. We call this "homonegativity". The term "homophobia" is better known, meaning "pathological fear of homosexuals". But this term does not capture the extent of the devaluation and violence against lesbians and gays. After all, if the others were only afraid of homosexuality, it wouldn't be so bad for gays. The image of inferiority becomes ingrained in the soul, and gay people have to deal with this internalised homonegativity for the rest of their lives. In crisis situations, self-esteem and mental stability can be massively shaken as a result - despite all the liberalisation.
What can you do about it?
When working in the counselling centre, we help young people to establish access to an affinity group. We have three groups in Mannheim, two for boys and one for girls. The feeling of belonging to a group in which I feel comfortable is extremely important. However, if someone is under 16 and their parents forbid them from attending such groups, it becomes difficult. Then it is important to create opportunities for support. Perhaps there is someone in the family that the young person can talk to. Or there is a teacher they can confide in. And we talk to the young people about helpful websites such as www.dbna.de (You're not alone) for guys between 14 and 27 who can chat and get to know each other here.
And what if a young person already has suicidal tendencies?
In the case of depression that requires treatment, we look at what options are available, whether outpatient or inpatient. Young homosexuals who have a gay counselling service in their city can get addresses of good therapists there; there may even be a collaboration. If you are not lucky enough to have access to a gay counselling service in your city, you can submit a therapy enquiry to the VLSP. Unfortunately, there are still some blank spots on the map, especially in rural areas in the east and south-east.
But surely coming out in the countryside is more stressful than in a big city?
There are three favourable, protective factors when a young person realises that they are homosexual: In addition to family ties, these are contact with an affinity group and a happy partnership. In rural areas, it is difficult for gays to establish contact with an affinity group. In the city, other resources are available, but there are also other dangers. On the other hand, there are many great families in the countryside: we once had a girl in a young lesbian group from the deepest Palatinate who lived 50 kilometres away. But she had a great uncle who regularly drove her to the group.
What are the warning signs of depression and suicidal behaviour?
Typical signs of depression are low spirits and a depressed mood. When someone no longer has the vigour and energy that you might otherwise expect from them. He withdraws, no longer feels like doing anything. When they say things like: 'There's no point. I don't know how I'm going to cope with the future. People with suicidal thoughts usually express them in some form, although the majority of people at risk of suicide don't necessarily want to die.
How can friends or relatives help if they observe such symptoms?
You should speak to the person in question calmly. Ask them what's going on. But under no circumstances should you make them feel guilty along the lines of: Don't behave like that! You can tell them: You are valuable in my life. Let's think about what we can do or how you can get help. And you can always turn to youth counselling centres if there are no special counselling or support services or if you don't want to turn to them.
And what can be done in terms of prevention, for example in schools?
Too little attention is still paid to sexual orientation when it comes to suicide prevention. This is despite the fact that adolescents are still under a great deal of emotional strain as a result of coming out - we are a long way from normalisation.
