The rule of thumb used to be: only have sex with a condom! There are now other options for protection against HIV. We asked around to find out how safer sex is practised today
Condoms: tried and tested and widely used
Sex is known to be the most beautiful thing in the world. And the fact that HIV can be transmitted during sex doesn't have to spoil the fun for anyone. After all, there are a whole range of ways to protect yourself today. The good old condom is still the most tried and tested and most widely used method.
"Without rubber - I'm not up for that"
Kathrin always has her personal stash to hand: "I can find the little box under my bed even in the dark and in almost any body position," reveals the 28-year-old, laughing coyly. She also keeps two well-packed condoms in her rucksack and handbag. "Just in case. You never know who you might meet," she says with a cheeky grin. "I just don't want to have to rely on my one-night stand, who I might meet in a club, being equipped with rubbers. And without any - I'm not up for that."
The fear of HIV transmission only plays a subordinate role for Kathrin. "I can also easily do without the clap."
A more relaxed sex life thanks to PrEP
For Matthias*, too, sex with a condom has always been a matter of course. And yet it has already happened to him that the condom was left off unplanned - for example in the gay sauna. "All of a sudden, my head is switched off during sex and only my cock decides what happens. Afterwards I regret it and I panic slightly: what if something has actually gone wrong?"
To avoid such situations, Matthias has been taking HIV protection pills, known as PrEP, for some time. Taking the HIV medication regularly prevents the virus from multiplying in the body cells of HIV-negative people - and thus protects them from infection.
His sex life is much more relaxed with PrEP. And yet the condom has not become obsolete for him.
For Matthias, this method of protection has made his sex life much more relaxed. However, the classic condom is far from obsolete for him. "The condom is a must-have for me, but PrEP is a nice-to-have: a good way to protect yourself if you don't use condoms." He therefore believes it is important to be well informed about this method of protection - and to seek medical advice when taking PrEP.
Double protection thanks to PrEP and "protection through therapy"
For Jutta*, PrEP offered an opportunity to have condom-free sex with her HIV-positive partner Gerd - and to be doubly protected. This is because her partner has been taking HIV medication for a long time. As a result, the amount of virus in his blood is so low that HIV is no longer detectable in him: HIV can therefore not be transmitted sexually.
"It was very important to me to be able to feel my husband as intensely as I would ideally like to. The rubber also reminds you that there is a danger - no matter how irrational the thought. I knew that Gerd was no longer infectious, but when it comes to emotions, the mind is sometimes simply inferior."
Protection through therapy works
This "gut feeling", which prevented Jutta from letting go completely despite knowing better, was something Jeff also had at first in his relationship with an HIV-positive man. However, he informed himself intensively about the non-infectiousness of people with HIV who are successfully treated and was quickly convinced of the protective effect of HIV therapy.
"It was friends we told about it who were more sceptical. We had to explain it to them first."
"'Protection through therapy' requires deep trust"
When Stefan found out about his HIV infection seven years ago, he first had to come to terms with the news, but he didn't go into shock. "I realised that I wanted to start HIV treatment quite quickly. Also so that I can have sex with my boyfriend without a condom once the viral load has fallen below the detection limit," says the 45-year-old. "In all three relationships I've had since then, I've slept with my partners without a condom. And all three are still negative today." For him, this is the best proof that "protection through therapy" works.
Safer sex depending on the situation
Jeff is now single again. He now handles safer sex very differently, depending on the situation. For him, sex without a condom is only conceivable with HIV-positive men who, like his ex-partner, are below the detection limit. "That presupposes that you know each other very well and that there is a deep level of trust," explains Jeff. "I could never be sure about one-night stands, and that's why it still only happens with a condom."
However, this is not a major problem for him, so PrEP is not an urgent wish for him at the moment. "But who knows how I'll feel about it in a few months' time." Just having the option is an enrichment for him. Because ultimately, says Jeff, the HIV-negative person has to decide how they want to maintain this status - whether through PrEP, "protection through therapy", the condom or a combination: "Safer sex is all of these ways," he says.
More information can be found on the website www.iwwit.de
More about Safer Sex 3.0
More about Condoms
More about the PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis)
More about Protection through therapy
