After Marcel's HIV infection, he decided to confide in his boss at the time. Not an easy decision. But his boss's reaction was exemplary, really "cool" and encouraged Marcel in his decision to be open about his illness. You can read how his colleagues reacted and what tips he has for others who are considering coming out at work here...
Marcel, you informed your employer at the time directly about your HIV infection. That was certainly not an easy step. Why did you take it anyway?
There were several reasons for this. On the one hand, I often went to the doctor in the early days because I felt pretty bad shortly after the infection. This subsided over time, as my viral load dropped and levelled off. In the beginning, however, I was often absent from work for health reasons. I just didn't want my colleagues to rumour what was going on with me, I wanted them to have clarity.
I also wanted to be "visible" and not have to hide just because I'm HIV-positive. It was also about letting my hair down. It's a bit like coming out as gay. Once it's out, the pressure is off and you often feel better. At least that's how I felt. I felt like I was carrying around an incredible burden that I wanted to get rid of. I also wanted to make this "taboo subject" public. I believe that if you deal with it openly, people ask a lot of questions. And questions are always good, because talking about it can break down prejudices, false information and therefore discrimination.
The first thing you did was tell your boss at the time. How did he react?
My boss reacted cool! Looking back, I have to say that I imagined both good and bad reactions. What actually happened exceeded my positive expectations by far. My employer told me that he was always available for me and that I could and should take time for myself. I was also offered psychological help at this company. And what helped me in particular was that my boss addressed the issue of bullying directly. He immediately said that he would not allow any of his employees to be bullied by others. If something like that had happened, I could have come to him and appropriate discussions and other measures would have been initiated.
After your boss, you spoke to your colleagues. Were you afraid of it?
Short answer: Yes. I didn't realise how well informed you are. Do you know that infection is virtually impossible in normal everyday life? Do they see me as a danger? Will they mob me? Or, on the contrary, can I hope for support? You get to know your colleagues over time, but you rarely get to know them well enough to know how they will deal with things like this.
How did they react?
Contrary to what I had expected: relatively well. There were some reservations at the beginning, but I said from the start that I was happy to give everyone the time to find out more. It was as if I emphasised "rights and obligations", something like this: "I give each of you the right to inform yourselves first and to keep your distance. At the same time, however, I also demand that you obtain information so that you don't have any unfounded fears or start treating me worse. I can't accept that." I think that this self-confident statement was well received and ensured that my colleagues actually sought information. Over time, it became like before and a close friendship developed with some of them because we talked about a lot of serious things. Many also opened up to me and shared their own misfortunes. That was really great. I experienced a lot of solidarity and understanding. It couldn't have gone any better. That's what I wish for everyone else, because I'm sure it worked out ideally for me.
What tips can you give others on how to deal with HIV at work?
I think that everyone knows their colleagues and their own employer best. I would never give blanket advice for a positive coming out. Everyone has to decide for themselves. It may not always be the right step. After all, it doesn't have to be as ideal as it was for me. If you know in advance that there will be problems, then you should carefully consider whether it's worth it. You can also get advice from your local AIDS service organisation.
On the other hand, if you come out at work, I think it's important to be self-confident! Make it clear straight away that you will not tolerate discrimination. And in the event that this does happen, you must also be able to defend yourself by taking steps to prevent it. Aidshilfe can also support you when coming out at work. Someone from Aidshilfe came to our shared office to clarify questions and establish facts. A neutral person like that has a completely different effect on colleagues. That helped us a lot.
Interview: Tim Schomann
Click here to go to the "HIV and work" by ICH WEISS WAS ICH TU.
Click here for the Dossier "HIV and work" from Deutsche AIDS-Hilfe.
