Florian, 37, has been reporting on his drug experiences on ICH WEISS WAS ICH TU for four years. He wants to help other drug users to reduce their risks. To mark the current debate, we spoke to him about crystal meth.
Florian, do you have any experience with Crystal?
Yes, I did. I nearly broke it.
You don't reject drug use in principle, but give tips on how to control your consumption and reduce risks. That obviously didn't work with crystal?
No, not at all. Drug use is never without risk, and in principle you can become addicted to any drug. But with crystal, the threshold is crossed so quickly that I can only advise you to stay away from it.
You were addicted?
Yes, the feelings on this drug are just so good that you want them back. And then you're powerless. The trap snaps shut damn quickly.
What did you experience at Crystal?
An unprecedented feeling of happiness. The reality with all its problems is immediately completely faded out. All fear simply disappears. Performance and sexual sensation are increased explosively.
That sounds dangerously attractive.
Unfortunately, it is. And that's exactly why you very quickly can no longer imagine living your life without this drug. And then the negative effects set in very quickly.
What are they?
I had severe depression and delusions. I thought there were people in the room and I felt extremely persecuted. Many consumers experience something like that. A friend of mine smashed the walls open in his paranoia because he thought there were cameras behind them. Suicidal thoughts are also common.
And yet you still find it difficult to stop?
Yes, because you know that you can't have the feelings you have on crystal without the drug. You have to be honest, that's the way it is. Nevertheless, crystal does not make you happy. At sex parties where crystal is consumed, everyone usually ends up sitting around on their mobile phones looking for the next date.
So the feelings of happiness you experience at the beginning don't last?
No, you're not getting the deep fulfilment you're looking for. On the contrary, you search more and more frantically and desperately. In the end, the drug makes you quite lonely.
What made you decide to quit?
At some point, I just couldn't take it anymore. It starts with you not being able to go to work on Monday because you're still totally high. Then the drug gradually wears you down. You lose friends, you lose touch with your life. I ended up sitting at home alone and I just felt like shit.
And how did you get out of it?
I was very motivated to regain control of my life, partly because I was in the public eye when it came to drugs. Therapy and a strong circle of friends helped me. I realised that I had lost control and was able to admit this to others. The psychologist was initially unsure whether it would work without inpatient detox, but I was spared that.
And today?
I am more aware of the dangers than ever before. I now get my kicks and my lust for life in other ways.
You can find more information on the topic of drugs and safer sex here.
If you can no longer cope with your drug use, let yourself advise!
