Hardly anyone goes to Lab.Oratory just to chat and drink beer. The Berlin gay sex club is all about one thing above all else, and that's why you drop your clothes as soon as you enter, for example at the naked parties. Anyone who spends the evening here wants to get down to business. And what role does safe sex play in this? Or rather: what form of safe sex do the visitors prefer? After all, alongside the Condom meanwhile also the PrEP and Protection through therapyto prevent HIV transmission.
ICH WEISS WAS ICH TU captured a number of different voices among the guests on the subject of safer sex, without any claim to representativeness.
Dennis* (24) from Saxony:
"I've only been to the lab once. Friends had told me about it and that made me really curious and horny. But I couldn't really imagine what it would be like. I was afraid that it might overwhelm me, that it would be far too intense for me. And yes, I was also scared of going home with some kind of illness afterwards. You keep hearing how wild the scene is, especially in Berlin.
"It didn't make me feel uncool or anything, just because I use condoms."
I was a little more reassured when I read on the website what the "Naked Party" was like. ("Leave your clothes at the cloakroom, put the rubbers and lubricant in your socks and off you go.", d. R.) I did see some people having sex without a condom, but it was the exception rather than the rule. That reassured me and I didn't feel uncool or anything just because I use condoms."
Marc (38) is a regular visitor to the club:
"Unlike on Grindr or something like that, you don't have to check each other out for a long time."
"I've been coming here regularly for a few years now because I know exactly what to expect and that I can have fun here. I've been to almost all the different theme parties by now, except for the really extreme ones. What is noticeable, however, is that you see more and more people having sex without a rubber. That has already changed. Especially in the last few months, the prepsters (Users of PrEP, i.e.) have increased. Especially a lot of people you meet here all the time. I have no problem with fucking or being fucked with a condom. But I do without a condom. Unlike on Grindr or something like that, you don't check out for a long time first. So if someone signals to me that they want to fuck without a condom, it irritates me. It's just the way it is. I don't know whether they're really taking PrEP or just talking rubbish without really checking what they're saying."
Ricardo, 31, has lived in Berlin for a year:
You "are not always a good, well-behaved boy. "
"For a while, I only took PrEP at the weekend or so because the pills were so expensive and it was so complicated to get hold of them. I found it very inconvenient. Now that the pills have become cheaper, I can afford to take them every day. I used to always make sure I took rubbers. But that's the way it is: you party, you take the odd pill - and you're not always a good boy. Apart from the clap, I've been lucky. Since I started taking PrEP, I've almost only had sex without a condom. I was surprised how quickly that became a matter of course for me. In the meantime, condoms seem a bit oldfashioned and annoying, although of course that's not true at all. I think it's okay if others continue to use condoms. The main thing is that they think about safer sex at all before they give up the arse."
Thomas, 35, has always lived in Berlin and got his positive test result 7 years ago:
"...although I personally prefer "with". Especially if you have sex in darkrooms or something like that."
"For me, the news that I was below the detection limit was at least as drastic as the test result at the time. As a result, I almost only had sex with other positive people, mainly because I didn't have to explain anything. With many of them without a condom, although I personally prefer "with". Especially when you have sex in darkrooms or something like that. I once had syphilis and my doctor at the time, as well as two friends, really talked me into taking better care of myself. In other words, to avoid contracting sexually transmitted diseases unnecessarily. I try to do that as much as possible. It doesn't always work, of course. But if I go somewhere specific, like the lab, then I'm equipped accordingly."
Chris, 27, has been single again for two years and has been visiting darkroom clubs and sex parties regularly ever since:
"My motto is still: 'If you want to fuck, you have to be friendly. "
"It's happened to me a few times recently - not just here, but also at other sex parties - that guys just left me standing there when I took out my rubber. I'm not sure how I should feel about that. You're used to not getting laid sometimes, but that's ¢ne kind of frustrating. On the other hand, maybe it's better that I'm not having sex with guys like that right now. My motto is still: 'If you want to fuck, you have to be friendly'. And anyone who behaves like that definitely isn't. They don't know what they've missed out on and who knows what I've saved myself. Fortunately, I'm old and self-confident enough and there are enough men for everyone. But if I was a few years younger now, I have no idea how I would have behaved."
* the names have been changed by the editors
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Directly more to Safer Sex 3.0
More about
– Protection through therapy
– Condoms
– PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis)
