Gay. Trans*. Part of the scene!

Trans* Brochure

Order or download brochure

Here you can download the new brochure in the shop of Deutsche Aidshilfe order.

You can download the brochure as a pdf here.

Online live talk on the International Transgender Day of Visibility

On the "International Transgender Day of Visibility" on Tuesday, 31 March 2020, the editorial team presented the new brochure of the ICH WEISS WAS ICH TU campaign "Schwul. Trans*. Part of the scene!" at an online live talk. You can watch the discussion again here.

Trans* Coming Out

Coming out is also an important experience for trans* people. As diverse as trans* biographies are, so too are the associated coming-out experiences. With the following three short reports, we want to present the different perspectives: KAy reports on his inner trans* coming out, cis man Till gives an insight into how he experienced a trans* coming out and Alexander describes his experiences with the outer trans* coming out.

Transition

Transition refers to the harmonisation of trans* people with their actual gender. To put it somewhat casually, it means making visible to the outside world what has long been clear on the inside. Transition is usually a year-long process - which can be very challenging for the trans* person. This can be divided into three typical levels:
Social, medical and legal transition. You can find out what these look like in detail in our blog post.

Trans* and safer sex

The bodies of trans* men are diverse. So is the sex they have with other men. There are only a few differences to cis gays. Protection against HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases is therefore basically the same for both trans* and cis gay men. Safer sex, Protection through therapy, PEP and PrEP The knowledge centre has all the important information. The following is also good to know:

• Active! Passive! Fucking as a trans* man

Trans* men also fuck actively. It doesn't matter whether the cock has grown hormonally (enlarged clitoris), whether it's a surgical clit (clitoris penoid) or a phalloplasty, or whether a strap-on has been purchased: The condom is the easiest way to protect yourself from HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Alternatively, a femidom can also be used. The femidom is currently considered the safest option for those who have a clitoral penis created by means of metaidioplasty (a type of genital surgery).

The same condom should never be used from the anus to the front hole (the term chosen by many trans* men), as bacteria from the rectum can cause infections there.

If passive trans* men allow themselves to be fucked via the front hole, the condom also provides protection here: against HIV, other sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancy. Even if testosterone is taken, trans* men can remain fertile (as long as the uterus and ovaries have not been removed; see hysterectomy with adnexectomy).

Important for trans* men who have anal sex as well as fronthole sex and who PrEP take:

• The top-up phase lasts 7 days, 1 tablet per day.
• Then continue with 1 tablet daily.
• After the last fronthole sex, take 1 tablet daily for at least 7 to a maximum of 28 days.
  Discuss the exact duration with your doctor.

According to the European and German-Austrian guidelines of the medical associations, occasion-based PrEP is also possible for anal sex, but not for fronthole sex.

• In the medical harmonisation phase

Long-term treatment with testosterone enlarges or lengthens the clitoris considerably in most trans* men. Some trans* men have their clitoris built up into a clitoral penoid. During the healing process, infections are generally easier here. This applies to all infections - including HIV, other sexually transmitted diseases and fungi. It therefore makes particular sense to look out for injuries in this area.

When removing the mammary glands and creating a male breast (mastectomy), it is also advisable to pay attention to possible injuries during the healing process, as bacteria and viruses can penetrate them more easily.

Trans* men can have elevated liver values during testosterone treatment. If they decide to take PrEP or require PEP, it is advisable to ask the doctor treating them to what extent these methods are suitable for them.

• A final word ...

When it comes to sex and sexual practices, it is important to find a self-determined and self-confident way of dealing with your own sexuality, to show and respect boundaries and to say "no" from time to time. Incidentally, this applies to trans* men as well as cis men.

The information on this page is based on 'Transmen: Trans Health Matters', which was created by Terrence Higgins Trust was published.

You can find detailed explanations of the terms mentioned here in our trans* glossary at the bottom of this page.

FAQ

In general ...
Respectful behaviour and good communication should always go hand in hand. Many questions are allowed as long as they are formulated respectfully. In the case of a trans* man, this means respecting his identity in all questions. Questions about his "former self" should not be asked during the first exchange. Questions about genitalia are also a "no-go". If a trans* man does not want to answer a question, this should also be respected. Not every trans* man wants to constantly answer educational questions on the subject. If in doubt, it helps to ask yourself whether the question really provides any insight.

How diverse are the bodies of trans* men?

Basically, the bodies of trans* men are just as individual and different as the bodies of cis men. Everyone can decide for themselves to what extent they want to harmonise their body hormonally and surgically. The only thing that matters is that they feel comfortable. Many trans* men strive to achieve a male breast (mastectomy). There are trans* men with a penoid reconstruction (replica of a penis) or a "clitpen" (clitoris penoid). Other trans* men do not have any gender reassignment surgery in the genital area and still have a front hole (a term chosen by trans* men). Packer

How do trans* men express their masculinity?

Every trans* man will answer this question differently for himself. It is good to free yourself from the images that are projected by the media or that have been modelled in your social environment for generations. It is important to remain true to yourself and not try to conform to any clichés or slip into a role that you cannot identify with.

How can a date come about?

The options are just as varied for trans* men as they are for gay cis men: from dating portals to cafés and clubs - there are many places where you can meet someone. The much more important question is: when and how do I come out? The online world offers different opportunities than real life. If you like and are already self-confident, you can come out as trans* in a dating profile. On the one hand, this can make contact easier, but on the other hand, such openness does not always protect you from verbal abuse. But: On the whole, it is almost impossible to avoid assaults online. All users probably know this. One way to counteract this can be to describe your profile as well as possible in order to minimise the scope for misinterpretation.

How and when do I come out as trans*?

"How and when do I say that I'm trans*?" - This is a question that every trans* man has asked himself before a date with a cis man. There is no standard answer or obligation to come out right from the start! The timing is up to you. Being trans* is only one aspect of being a trans* man. Dating in particular is about getting to know each other for the first time. When the time comes, it's best to talk about it as naturally as possible. Under no circumstances should it be presented as a problem, otherwise it can actually become one for the other person. At the latest before you become intimate with someone, it is advisable to play with open cards. The reactions of cis men to a trans* coming out can be very different. Basically, it is probably easier for the cis man if he knows about the trans* aspect before the date. Forced outings by third parties are a real "no-go" in any case!

Can/must the gay identity of gay cis men "wobble"?

Trans* men are men - and if a cis man and a trans* man fall in love or have sex with each other, then they are just as gay as two cis men or two trans* men who come together. It doesn't matter what stage of transition someone is in - the important thing is to respect the person and their sexual and gender identity. Nevertheless, some cis men find that their gay identity becomes "shaky" when they are interested in a trans* man. In this case, the cis man can think about it: "Why?" It often has to do with his own ideas of masculinity and less with the trans* man he is interested in. The trans* man is often used as a projection surface for the identity crises of his counterpart. In this sense, masculinity and gayness are multifaceted and do not hang between the legs.

Is there anything to consider when having sex with trans* men?

Having responsible and respectful sex is important for everyone. Gender roles can also play a role, depending on desire and type. No one should be assigned a sexual or gender role from the outside in advance. Unfortunately, this still often happens to trans* men. Many trans* men are automatically seen as passive and/or in a submissive role. However, trans* men can just as easily have a hormonally grown penoid, an erection or use dildos. The best way to find out is to explore their bodies together.

Which sex practices are possible?

From cuddly sex, oral and anal sex to BDSM, everything that gay sex involves is possible with trans* men. Simply go on a discovery tour. Do what you like. It's as simple as that.

What should you look out for in gay sex venues?

Darkroom

Sometimes trans* men may not be granted access to the darkroom before a transition. In order to avoid such unpleasant situations on site, it is advisable to ask the operator of the location in advance what their policy is for dealing with trans* customers. Even after transitioning, it can still take courage to enter the darkroom. Once you're inside, blow jobs can be an option at first to familiarise yourself with this new place and gay sex. That way, you don't have to come out as trans* straight away. Putting your hand protectively in front of your crotch/packer can help you to avoid unwanted contact and not have to reveal your trans* identity straight away. However, this "having to hide" causes some trans* men not to use darkrooms. A more open trans* welcome policy on the part of club operators and cis men would be desirable here.

Cruising in public places

What applies to the darkroom also applies to cruising areas - only without the door policy. Perhaps blowing bubbles can help you to familiarise yourself with the location and situation. However, it is important to remember that you are left to your own devices when cruising. If an attack occurs, it is rather difficult to find allies. This is the advantage of a cruising bar with a darkroom.

Gay saunas

Before visiting a gay sauna, it is advisable to clarify the operator's policy with regard to trans* customers who, for example, have scars on their upper body or do not have a penis. By calling the management, you cannot rule out the possibility of encountering intolerant sauna guests, but at least you can clarify whether the sauna staff are sensitised to trans* customers and may take sides with trans* customers if there are any unpleasant disputes with other guests.

Glossary

Here you can find information on some important terms relating to trans* topics

C
Cis (Cisgender)
Cisgender (Latin cis- "this side" and gender "sex") refers to people whose gender identity corresponds to the sex assigned to them at birth. This applies to most people.

F
Femidom
The Femidom is a contraceptive that has been available since 1990 and also offers protection against sexually transmitted infections.
A femidom is 17 to 18 cm long and is made of thin, tear-resistant plastic (polyethylene or polyurethane, in newer products also nitrile rubber). It is fitted with two rings, the outer one of which is placed outside the vagina in front of the labia majora and the inner one is inserted into the vagina like a pessary (diaphragm).

Front Hole
A term chosen by many trans* men for a sex organ that has not been surgically reassigned.

G
Gender reassignment (see also transition)
The medical, legal and social process of externally and physically expressing and approximating a person's gender identity, which differs from the sex assigned at birth.
"Sex change" sounds like "hocus-pocus", gender reassignment is much better and more respectful.

H
Hysterectomy with adnexectomy
This refers to the removal of the internal female organs - i.e. the uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes. This type of procedure is recommended primarily because of the increased risk of cancer due to hormone treatment. Hysterectomy is performed either through an abdominal incision or through the vagina, very rarely endoscopically. It is a standard procedure nowadays.

K
Clitoris penoid/metaidoioplasty
The clitoris, which is enlarged by hormone therapy, is partially cut free from its skin covering and a urethra is formed from the labia minora.
The result usually looks authentic and sensitivity is retained as far as possible. With the right technique, sexual intercourse is possible. However, metaidoioplasty is a relatively complicated method, even if no tissue is transplanted from other parts of the body.

M
Mastectomy
The form of mastectomy used for trans* men is the removal of the mammary gland with preservation of the nipple and at least part of the skin, so that a flat, male breast remains.

P
Packer
A packer is a penile prosthesis. These are available in different versions. There is the simple packer, which is only used to bulge the trousers, the packer with a peeing aid function and an all-in-one packer, with which it is also possible to pee and have sexual intercourse standing up.

Passing
Perception by others of how well gender role expectations are fulfilled.

Penoid augmentation/phalloplasty
A penoid or neophallus is a surgically constructed penoid. Many trans* men have this built up. Like all operations, the use of a stiffening prosthesis is associated with risks and possible side effects. In addition, the stiffening prostheses only have a limited lifespan and may need to be replaced after some time.

T
Trans* man/FTM (female to male)
Trans* men live in their self-chosen male gender (with a previously assigned female gender). Depending on their own perspective and/or location in the spectrum of transsexual, transgender, trans* etc., trans* men sometimes also see themselves as trans* masculinities, female-to-male transsexuals (FzM - or FtM or F2M for female to male), female-to-male transidents. Trans* male is also used in German-speaking countries as a broad term for all those people who cannot or can only partially identify with their former female birth gender. (based on Transintersectionality.org)

Transition (see also gender reassignment)
Transition describes the (medical, legal, social, physical) process of externally and physically expressing and approximating a person's gender identity, which differs from the gender assigned at birth.

Transident
Transident dispenses with the misleading aspect of "-sexual" in "transsexual" and instead emphasises the gender identity aspect. This is how some trans* people define themselves as transidentical or transident. (based on Transintersectionality.org)

Transgender
Being transgender means that people do not (only) identify with the gender assigned to them at birth. Some also see themselves as "neither woman nor man" or reject such categorisations altogether

Trans*
Trans * is a generic term for transgender, transsexual, transident etc. and includes all people who do not (only) identify with the gender assigned to them at birth. The "*" stands for a variety of gender identities, i.e. for more than just "woman" and "man", and questions the heteronormative two-gender system.

Transsexuality, transsexual
The term transsexuality is generally used in the medical field. It is mainly people who experience themselves as clearly belonging to the "opposite sex" who describe themselves as transsexual. Others reject the term because of its history as a medical term and psychiatric diagnosis or because of its misleading similarity to categories of sexual orientation. (based on TransInterQueer.org)

TSG/Transsexuals Act
Changes of first name and civil status (gender entry) require legal proceedings in Germany. The Transsexuals Act has been in force since 1981 and forms the legal basis for this. Proceedings require a judge's decision. Several independent expert opinions are required for the change of first name and civil status. The experts are usually appointed by the court.

Acknowledgement

Together with trans* people (who have contributed as individual activists and are involved with TransInterQueer, TransMann e.V., Trans*Tagung München, TransIdent Münster, Hein & Fiete, Mancheck Berlin, among others) we have developed this site. We would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone involved once again for their great commitment. With the help of this support, we were the first national campaign in Germany to inform and sensitise people to the topic.