Darkroom characters: The catfish

Our author Torsten Nobir spends a lot of time in Berlin's darkrooms. In doing so, he has noticed: There are characters with recurring patterns of behaviour. This time he writes about the catfish, which can be found in many darkrooms.

In the darkest corner of an unlockable cubicle. There is no light at all. The black-painted wooden partitions, which turn the bare basement rooms into dark labyrinths, absorb every last photon before the wall that reaches up to the ceiling prevents any flickering rays from a smartphone from penetrating.

Entering a room like this also means surrendering to the darkness. Feeling your way with your hands to realise that you are alone in a pitch-black 3 m² room full of sexual excitement, smelling of poppers and anus. At other times, you encounter a darkroom character that can be found in every fuck shed from north to south and east to west: the catfish.

He may also thwart the brief silence in the hustle and bustle of the darkroom when you think you are standing alone in the small darkroom-within-a-darkroom. Because he waits, where he always waits, in the corner of such a darkroom. Sometimes shuffling along the wall, possibly rubbing his bum along the floor, he looks like a sucking catfish in an aquarium for docking opportunities for his powerful lips, which have been converted into a slobbering suction cup, or at least taste his tail in the dark - even if it's only for the two seconds until they have to drift to the next jewel through the flailing movements of those so endowed with sucking skills - even if a little finger or bunch of keys are also regularly sucked in.

You get the impression that the darkroom catfish don't leave their usual haunts, so it's hard to guess what they look like. In any case, they can be your last resort after an unnecessary and horny night in a gay sex paradise, so that after eight hours of endless circling around, blowing and leaving, searching again and again and longing for the big prick, you can still have an orgasm. Swallowing included, of course.

However, it is often very wet and soft, and the resistance is so low that even the most emergency-extended penis sometimes finds it difficult to finish. You can hear it, a rude grunt often accompanies its slobbery beat. You can also try to move the catfish to the beat of the alternating continuous loop of 2000s hip-hop house beats like a sponge used for masturbation.

With this method, you can finally catch a glimpse of the appearance of the otherwise strictly dark sucking catfish: a cold, sweating, shaved bull's neck accompanies the smacking noises that come from the suction disc mingling with the abdomen. If you don't experience a climax tonight, you can come back tomorrow, or next year. One thing is certain: the sucking catfish is always there.