Picture: Noah Elio Weinmann - https://noah-elio.com/
I come from a time when we trans activists were not wanted. On the contrary: we had to push hard to get our foot in the door to be allowed to play. Let alone being paid for our work - the resources weren't meant for us. The level of insults and violence we had to endure instead of support is unimaginable. Our history and contributions to the queer community have been erased time and time again - especially those of trans* people of Colour-activists.
The current situation for trans*people is dramatic. Anyone who still believes that the USA is far away and that this doesn't happen here in Europe is providing the exact reason for the increasing trans* hostility: ignorance - or, to put it euphemistically, a good ability to demarcate ourselves. I've been a trans* activist for 22 years. That means I've been working for a very long time to make the queer community internationally more trans*-inclusive. To this end, we have organised countless talks, workshops and events - in addition to countless tiring one-to-one conversations with cis people, including heated discussions and unpleasant, sometimes violent confrontations. These were supposedly about differences of opinion, but in reality were simply about discrimination - which has nothing to do with freedom of expression. That's the point. What exactly was defended by cis people was the following: the power over us trans*people. At this point, I have to make a small digression.
Here we are characterised by Christian ideology with the two-gender society of men and women, in which women are oppressed and disadvantaged. This is deeply ingrained in us. Everything is done to maintain this system. A collective feeling has arisen that the lives of trans* people and other marginalised people are worth less - based on biology, natural law and religion. It is important to understand: There is no way for anyone to vote this out. It is not enough to say: "I am a feminist". There is only the option of becoming aware of your own trans* hostility and working on it. This is a process, a life decision that only a few people make because it hurts to deal with guilt, oppression, privilege and shame. It is easier not to close the empathy gap towards trans* people and other marginalised people.
In the queer community, the white cis lesbians and gays represent the dominant society. Trans* hostility is rooted in misogyny, because the core and the two pillars of masculinity are the defence of the female and the defence of the homosexual - nothing threatens masculinity more. In addition to this ideology, the Nazis tightened Paragraph 175, and even afterwards, in the early days of the Federal Republic, it was catastrophic for homosexual people - it was actually life-threatening for men to be feminine, and the desire for the "non-masculine" could not be lived. Added to this is the enormous superiority of the biological, the body. This goes so far that, for example, the genitalia of trans* people are often cited as a reason for exclusion - and we are forced to ostracise ourselves. Some people feel triggered by the genitals of trans* people, and it is not uncommon for abuse trauma to be projected onto us. There is also emotional blackmail by partners not to transition medically or not to have (genital) surgery. That is violence. This also includes the tiresome discussion about alleged preferences.
At the moment, a lot of energy is being expended - as we are now seeing in the USA, for example - to restore the old system. In the process, enormous violence is being used against trans*people and our successes are being destroyed. I can feel how some people are now almost relieved to join in - now that it's becoming more legitimate to be trans-hostile again, so to speak. The pressure is finally easing for them. The last few years must have been exhausting for them if, for example, people wanted to use a certain pronoun for themselves, many pronouns or none at all. But what exactly was so exhausting?
I was often invited to discuss the question of how to make the community more trans*-inclusive. I did that for years. Today I'm no longer sure if that was the right approach. I am a trans* person - I don't know what cis people need to become more trans* inclusive. That's a task that we cis people would have to set ourselves. So perhaps it would have made more sense to have them write this article - who could, for a change, be very honest about why they have found it so difficult to become more inclusive all these years.
What is happening in the USA is frightening and hits trans* people particularly hard. For me as a trans* person of Colour with family in Mexico, near the border to the USA, it is also hurtful to see how the community here cries out when suddenly also white trans*people are affected. Where was the outcry when we tried to draw attention to the situation in Honduras, for example, where trans women were shot dead on the street? To name just one example. Trans*people of Colour have always been exposed to great brutality - even in Europe. This is nothing new at all.
At this point, I would like to mention intersectionality - a word that has been used so excessively in recent years that it has almost become a cliché for me. If you only hear things often enough, we tend to overhear them - it starts to get annoying. I think I annoyed people terribly too - I was always criticising. How exhausting. However, the enormous ability to differentiate from it is exactly the problem.
If we begin to understand that this empathy gap is the result of colonialism and - in our area - Christianity, would there be a way to overcome it?
In my many years of working with cis gay men, I have learnt a lot. There is a big offer from them to assimilate us - tempting for many trans* people. For me, it always felt a bit like a secret society with lots of rules and stereotypical ideas that have to be adhered to. It's exciting, thrilling - it can also be really beautiful. If I stick to the rules, if I fulfil stereotypes, I'm allowed to play along. It's a big challenge even for gay cis men. I've met many who were under a lot of pressure to fulfil it. These are men who could benefit from our trans* activism - it can be empowering and liberating for everyone.
Some people are now adorning themselves with our trans star - but I only think that's okay if it goes hand in hand with reducing trans* hostility.
For a long time, our trans* activism was characterised by the desire to fit in. We did everything we could to fit in - not to stand out as trans. For a long time, this was essential for survival, because the marginalisation and violence without passing was huge. Unfortunately, the wish that passing would spare us injuries never materialised. At the latest when it came to sexuality or romantic relationships, there was a (forced) outing - and then the supposed privilege of passing collapsed.
At this point, it's very easy to get hurt - even to the point of very violent experiences if the other person feels betrayed, disappointed or simply spontaneously loses interest from 100 to 0. Ouch - it was just so nice.
But now we've moved on. Not all of us want to fit in - and we no longer want to hide. It's no longer our goal to come as close as possible to the cis role model. We are empowered. That's why it's not a compliment when people say to me after sex: "I didn't notice any difference." That wasn't my goal!
Of course, there are also beautiful experiences. However, allowing these to happen requires the trans* person to have the courage to expose themselves to the potential risk of injury. That's a big challenge - and many trans* people don't have the strength for it. To this day, I hardly see any serious activities by cis gay spaces to welcome us trans* people more warmly.
In fact, the topic of invitation policy is so big that I could write a whole article about it. But believe me when I tell you: for us trans* people, it's usually not a good fit. Injuries are often pre-programmed. Thinking: "Well, it's just not right for everyone" is lazy. Because for the one person for whom it doesn't fit, it constantly doesn't fit - and is a constant hurt to the point of capitulation: "Well, then I won't go to the community anymore." Problem solved - at least for cis people.
The well-being of a cis person must not be prioritised over that of a trans* person, because it is not a question of opinion, but of structural discrimination.
From today's perspective, I would say that any attempt to create safer spaces always fails because people are judged on the basis of their appearance - too much policing. At the latest when I criticise this, I am asked to find a solution - after all, this is a safe space for certain people. As if I could now solve the problem of trans* hostility and racism.
Well, Any safe space that violates trans*people and BI_POCs is no longer a safe space - it is a violation space. And this has been calmly accepted in the community for years. As long as trans* people, especially of ColourIf trans* people are thrown under the bus like this to protect their own privileges, we should not be surprised that trans* hostility is on the rise.
It's not the President of the USA who hurts me - I don't expect anything from him. It is the white gay cis man and the lesbian cis woman whose support I have been fighting for over 20 years.
It's nobody's business what our bodies are like, what our genitals look like, whether we've had operations, take hormones, how we dress, how masculine or feminine - or not - we are, whether we want pronouns, which ones or rather none or all of them. And let me tell you: none of this is relevant to sexuality or love. Every genital, every body can be lovable, can be sexy.
And if cis people weren't so convinced of their inherent power - if they were doing their job - they might realise that they could learn so much from us trans* people. How much we would enrich their lives. How wonderful it can be with us.
All these missed opportunities over so many decades - what a shame.
I know that we have some very bad years ahead of us. Trans* hostility will still reach very painful peaks. But there is a part of me that has to believe that this is the last gasp of a long outdated system - which must be doomed.
The fact that this rebellion, especially from old white cis men in politics is more of a logical consequence - after all, they were the ones who have been massively criticised by us in recent years. It's amazing to see how badly they've been hit - they lost their cool!
Unfortunately, I felt the same way with many lesbian and gay cis people who fought so hard. Against change - so as not to go under with the old battles they once fought. Somehow they wanted to remain the dominant ones in the queer community - and not share anything.
I'm sorry - you still have to make way now. Because no matter how much pressure is built up against us again, how much violence we still have to experience: It will not extinguish us.
We cannot be defeated. Otherwise we would have died out long ago.
I am M. Garcia, a two-spirit and a queer FTM of colour. I was born trans* and will always be trans*.
